Disease
by CrowNoYami
Summary: A song-fic about how I view Ginny's and Harry's relationship. Please be warned I do not like Ginny there will be bashing an mentions of slash/yaoi between past HPSS thank you


They had asked him to preform for them, to be their band for the final dance of the graduating year. Sure he was a part of that year as well, the only 8th years in the history of Hogwarts but he was also their savour. It would be the biggest and most popular dance to bring children back to school to have him sing. Somehow the professors had gotten to know him to sing and write in the few moments he had to himself. It wasn't that he didn't want to do it, in fact he was excited about it but there was one thing holding him back. His music was mostly dedicated to his life, the side that nobody knew... the side that they didn't want to know.

As he stepped onto the stage, the audience looking at him in wonder Harry smiled to them. Using a muggle microphone as requested he locked eyes to the one girl he wrote the song for. Speaking into the mic he dedicated the song to her "Hello everybody! I hope you're having a good time tonight, I just wanted to dedicate this song to Ginny Weasley."

_Feels like you made a mistake.  
You made somebody's heart break.  
But now I have to let you go.  
I have to let you go._

Everyone seemed surprised, after all they had been together since before the war truly began. It was liberating to start the song off and he gave a smirk to the audience while he sang.

__

You left a stain  
on every one of my good days.  
But I am stronger than you know.  
I have to let you go.

All he could think about as he sang was all the times that he tried to be himself, that he tried to act like more then a scare savour. Every time she was there, bringing him back down, making sure he played his part. Now that this duty was done, now that he could grow to be himself he had to let her, and the mask she made him wear go.

_No one's ever turned you over.  
No one's tried to ever let you down.  
Beautiful girl- bless your heart!_

The look on the face of her family, of her brother and friends were priceless. She was the only girl in her family, the precious child. There wasn't a thing in the world that was kept from her. While her brothers went without she always got what she wanted, what she needed. When she was older she believed that she deserved it all and that she would land The-Boy-Who-Lived as her next prize. __

_I got a disease, deep inside me.  
Makes me feel uneasy.  
Baby, I can't live without you!  
Tell me, what am I supposed to do about it?  
Keep your distance from it,  
don't pay no attention to me.  
I got a disease._

Through it all however he knew that at first he was alright with being her toy, of being the prized husband. In fact he had even enrolled himself in the Auror program even though he wanted to be something more. It was expected, it was what she wanted but when he wrote this he knew he would do something else. This was him saying goodbye to her, to them all in his own way. __

_Feels like you're making a mess.  
You're hell on wheels in a black dress.  
You drove me to the fire,  
and left me there to burn.  
_

In his innocence he never saw past her attempt to make him her own, after all she was pretty and charmed him into who she wanted. Perhaps if he hadn't followed her he wouldn't be the poster boy he was now. Maybe if he had seen past her beauty he would have been happier.

_Every little thing you do is tragic.  
All my life, oh!, was magic.  
Beautiful girl- I can't breathe!_

That wasn't true of course, everyone knew that, but at last before he was happy, even if only for a little while. Before he became hers back when he was himself.

__

I got a disease, deep inside me.  
Makes me feel uneasy.  
Baby, I can't live without you!  
Tell me, what am I supposed to do about it?  
Keep your distance from it,  
don't pay no attention to me.  
I got a disease.  


By now the reporters were going frantic, Skeeter was writing everything down as he sang. He was sure that it would make the front page in tomorrows paper. Seeing one of her camera men looking at him he smiled for the photo he knew would be seen by the world tomorrow. For once he wasn't worry about what others would say, on what Skeeter would write about him. All he care about was being out in the open about how manipulated he was by a pretty face.

_And, well, I think that I'm sick.  
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me.  
You taste like honey, honey.  
Tell me, can I be your honey  
Bee? Be strong!  
Keep telling myself it that won't take long  
Till I'm free of my disease.  
Yeah, Free of my disease.  
Free of my disease.  
oh  
_

He would have a lot to answer to latter on, would have an angry group of men demanding an answer. Would have his friend demand he apologize, but he was fine with that. He was fine with the fact that he would probably never see the woman who he believed would be the mother of his children again. It wouldn't bother him, he wouldn't let it.

_I got a disease, deep inside me.  
Makes me feel uneasy.  
Baby, I can't live without you!  
Tell me, what am I supposed to do about it?  
Keep your distance from it,  
don't pay no attention to me.  
I got a disease._

Nearing the end of the song Harry caught Ginny's eyes once again and saw the tear there. Still he didn't falter, didn't stop as he knew those tears were not because of love. She wouldn't cry because of the loss of him, because he would no longer have him. No she was crying because of the loss of control, of the trophy husband she wanted so badly. She would bounce back, would find another one but the work she put into training, making him was lost and she knew it

_And, well, I think that I'm sick.  
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me.  
You taste like honey, honey.  
Tell me, can I be your honey  
Bee? Be strong!  
Keep telling myself it that won't take long  
Till I'm free of my disease.  
Yeah, Free of my disease.  
Said now, free of my disease.  
oh yeah. _

At the end of the song, Harry watched as the tears were replaced by anger and her face turned as red as her hair. It was a shame that he knew what she did, what she almost succeeded in doing. They would have been happy, well he would not have known the difference anyways but he would have pretended. Still he did not flinch as she stormed off and instead he looked to his once best friend.

Just like the times in school when something happened out of his own control Harry knew that Ron would never forgive him for this. Their friendship had always been strained by his fame and money, but now that it was personal it could not be repaired. Hermoine would follow her husband, well her future one anyways that was certain but he saw understanding in her gaze, she had known.

"That was called Disease... now I wish to sing another it's called Back to Good."

While he sang he thought back to the man who changed him, made him see who he was. He thought back to the one night he had, the one night before he lost the only one who made him feel. He thought back to that bar, to the alcohol and the passion. He thought back to black eyes as deep as the sea and the knowledge that he would never have that again. Because those eyes would never see again, that voice would never say his name.

Perhaps if he was stronger he would have let the man go, but then those blasted tears were shed. When he looked into the memories, when he finally understood he couldn't let go of that. Suddenly the one night was tainted in a way he didn't understand, as it wasn't him that was there for the man that night. It was his mother's eyes and he would forever be waiting for his name to fall from those sinful lips.

Staring out to the people who were watching him he gave a sad smile when he saw his enemy nod slightly at him. After all, only the one that hated him for seven years could truly understand... that there are some things time can't heal.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything written/performed by Matchbox Twenty. I only love them both and wish that I did. **

**A/N:**** I know that this one-shot sucks in fact I am quite aware of the fact. I kind of went all over the place with it, there is no real plot and I didn't even try to check it for grammar and spelling. That being said... man does that feel good to get out of my head. All day I was listening to the same song over and over cause I just had to play out what would happen... now that I did I feel much better. **

**I would really appreciate a review or two but honestly I don't expect any because of the above reasons. I do however expect given the fact that I know this is bad that people would please not flame me on it. If you made it to the end of the fic after knowing that you hated it, really that's your own fault not mine.**

**To anyone who did enjoy it, thank you for reading and I promise my next one will be better. **

**With love,**

**Mari-chan **


End file.
